Originally published on baldguysalliance.com.
By Dr Tom Hitchcock, founder of Mr Purple (LinkedIn)
Want to reconnect with old friends without making it feel like a school reunion organised by your anxious thumbs? Give your phone five minutes. Not to watch strangers renovate kitchens, argue about sport, or explain the secret morning routine of billionaires. Use it to find one person who has quietly slipped out of view, then send a simple hello.
That small act is Kindness Scrolling. It is ordinary, deliberate, and refreshingly free of speeches. You scroll through your contacts, notice someone, and make a gentle move towards them. No grand rescue mission. No demand for an instant reply. Just a human tap on the shoulder.
Why reconnect with old friends at all?
Most friendships do not end with a dramatic falling out. They fade under work, family, distance, changing routines, and the familiar promise that we will call next week. Then next week grows a beard and becomes three years.
Reaching out does not mean you must rebuild the friendship exactly as it was. It simply says, you crossed my mind and I hope you are going all right. That can matter, particularly when someone has been feeling overlooked. It can also remind you that friendship is not measured only by how recently you shared a coffee.
The aim is connection, not correction. You are not investigating why they disappeared. You are opening a door and leaving them free to walk through it when they choose.
What Kindness Scrolling looks like
Kindness Scrolling is a short, purposeful look through your phone for someone worth greeting. Your contacts, old messages, photos, or social connections can all jog the memory. Unlike ordinary scrolling, there is an end point: one sincere message to one real person.
It works because the task is small enough to do now. You do not need to arrange dinner for twelve, compose a heartfelt essay, or remember their dog’s birthday. You only need to notice and act.
The Bald Guys Alliance version is explained on the Kindness Scrolling page. Think of it as using the phone for what phones once claimed to be for: contacting people.
The five minute scroll, step by step
- Set five minutes. A limit keeps this from becoming another long wander through your phone.
- Open one familiar place. Try contacts, old text messages, photos, or a social platform you already use.
- Look for a name that gives you pause. Perhaps you shared a job, a neighbourhood, a football team, or an especially bad haircut.
- Choose one person. One is enough. This is kindness, not a call centre shift.
- Send a plain message. Mention what prompted the thought if that feels natural.
- Put the phone down. Let the message breathe. A reply is welcome, not owed.
You can repeat the habit whenever it suits you, but resist turning it into a scorecard. The value sits in the genuine gesture, not the number of messages dispatched.
What to say without making it awkward
The best opening is usually the one you would say if you bumped into them at the shops. Short, warm, and free of hidden homework.
- Hi mate, you popped into my head today. How are you going?
- I found an old photo from our cricket days and thought of you. Hope life is treating you well.
- It has been ages. No big reason for the message, just wanted to say hello.
- I heard that song we used to play far too loudly. How have you been?
- Just checking in, mate. No rush to reply.
Specific memories help because they make the message feel real. Keep the tone light unless you know the person would appreciate something deeper. Avoid loading the first hello with guilt, explanations, or a complete autobiography. You are restarting a conversation, not submitting evidence.
If they do not reply
Silence can mean almost anything. They may be busy, tired, unsure what to say, using a different number, or simply not ready. It does not make your gesture foolish.
Do not chase them across every platform. One respectful message is enough. If you have a genuine reason for concern about someone’s immediate safety, contact an appropriate emergency or crisis service rather than trying to manage the situation alone. The Bald Guys Alliance is a community, not a counselling or crisis service.
If they reply later, meet them where they are. A few messages might be the whole reconnection. It could become a call, a coffee, or a renewed friendship. Let it grow naturally.
Make five minutes count
Loneliness is a large word, but connection often begins with a very small action. A name. A memory. A message that says someone still exists in your world.
Scroll for five minutes, choose one person who has gone quiet, and send the hello. No fanfare required. Bald head optional.
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